tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35497867.post2856730693148026404..comments2023-08-20T11:31:40.318-04:00Comments on elise abrams miller: thornyElise A. Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04244523375465549967noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35497867.post-73221231924489028192007-01-29T13:05:00.000-05:002007-01-29T13:05:00.000-05:00Elise,
I have three boys, 3,5,and 11..all differen...Elise,<br />I have three boys, 3,5,and 11..all different. The middle is like Ry, let him be, he is cautious, needs to feel safe and have trust. Nothing wrong with that. An observer, a thinker. We should question people who just jump and don't listen to their intuitive side, right...that's what I tell myself. My son is great and so is yours, you know where you stand with someone who takes their time to acclimate, at least you know if they really like you b/c if they don't they'll let you know. Great blog, first time reader and loving it. Hate those, parenting is so easy crap, home-journal, essays from mothers on vicadin!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35497867.post-6933274709050520282007-01-29T11:53:00.000-05:002007-01-29T11:53:00.000-05:00It is possible to fret a lot about your child's de...It is possible to fret a lot about your child's development, especially with one's first child, and especially when that child is in a situation to be compared to other kids the same age, e.g., pre-school, or even a play group. There is SO much normal variability in the rate of development in very young children, and I would not consider that first teacher's remarks to be useful at all. Relax! And also<br />don't beat yourself up about not relaxing! I'm wondering if a good book about developmental milestones would be reassuring to you? Maybe one by Berry Brazelton, or even Dr. Spock? Then you could<br />check out the various parameters (like gross and fine motor development, receptive and expressive language, social skills, etc.) and say to yourself, well, my child is advanced in this area, and maybe a little slower in this one area so, in balance, everything is fine. Then, if there is an area that seems WAY out of<br />line, you could bring the issue to your pediatrician and do what she/he suggests. Cuz your pediatrician was helpful with the not pooping thing, right? (By the<br />way, did you ever hear the theories that sometimes a child will withhold poop because they think they have a baby inside like their mother did? Or because they<br />think they are giving up something important that is inside them? Just to throw it away? (Interesting.)<br />Lastly, your intuitions as a mother are very important. Don't let the semi-professionals out there, of whom this pre-school teacher is just the first of many, scare you. You know your own child better than anyone else. Here's who can be trusted: most pediatricians, some grandparents, many kindergarten teachers, some grade school teachers, the occasional children's librarian. These are the people with a<br />long-range view and tons of experience with kids.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35497867.post-9598852241957710582007-01-26T18:53:00.000-05:002007-01-26T18:53:00.000-05:00Thank you all for your kind comments--it really do...Thank you all for your kind comments--it really does help to have support! It didn't even occur to me until I started transcribing, and admittedly paraphrasing the conversation, that I was being undermined in the least, but once I started writing, there it was. I do think the teacher was mostly acting her age, twenty or so, and being a drama queen about it, and our drama fed off each other. She's more or less a giggly girl who likes to joke that Ry won't be his girlfriend, but it's true she didn't offer suggestions for improvement, and left the conversation frustratingly open-ended. To make matters more bizarre, when he started there last year, the owner saw him on a few scattered occasions and called me to suggest I have him evaluated for autism because she observed him stuffing his face at lunch time. And this was truly the best place I could find for my kid. I guess I wish these gals would preface their observations with exactly how concerning these matters are. It might save me from my night terrors. Of course I also know I go off the deep end in blaming myself, but know deep down that I'm pretty good at this mom gig. The good news is that today I learned that he was totally engaged, that he participated at art time, and greeted me at the door with a finished painting. When all is said and done, I can't help but believe that so much of his and maybe all of our behavior depends on simple things like getting a good night's sleep. I guess that means I'm laying off the vino tonight! hugs, eElise A. Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04244523375465549967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35497867.post-31640469391686460482007-01-26T17:15:00.000-05:002007-01-26T17:15:00.000-05:00A very touching entry.
But I think Ry is doing fi...A very touching entry. <br />But I think Ry is doing fine. His imagination is great! And he can certainly play with toys when he wants to. <br />So says Pop.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35497867.post-85930889941483455252007-01-26T14:04:00.000-05:002007-01-26T14:04:00.000-05:00Talk about an uninspired 'impromptu' conference. W...Talk about an uninspired 'impromptu' conference. What did this teacher hope to gain in saying this stuff to you and how was she in any way helpful or constructive in what she said?! It's been going on for awhile and I don't think there's anything you can do but I thought I should mention it to you? What the f*ck? And then to say that we all have noticed it? I would talk to the supervisor of that daycare (or if you're uncomfortable witht hat maybe a teacher you feel more connected to) because that teacher needs to get a clue about how to talk to parents. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with Ry and agree with Auntie Amanda that's it's part and parcel of being a toddler but, big but, that is completely out of line to make you feel bad about Ry's behavior and offer no solutions or suggestions about what to do. Maybe he would benefit from longer days but for christsake you're the one offering solutions while it sounds like the teacher is just standing there saying passive agressive crap.Amelia Plumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10657299431819650897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35497867.post-46815777955410428592007-01-26T12:12:00.000-05:002007-01-26T12:12:00.000-05:00"He's two" really does sum it up...don't worry too..."He's two" really does sum it up...don't worry too much about Ry- being "different" isn't necessarily a bad thing. I once read "raising kids is like being pecked to death by chickens." Some days more so than others, so don't beat yourself up.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13167523681930989818noreply@blogger.com