bananas

Aaahhhh! Feel like I'm running too fast this morning. Dragged Stella to Banana Republic, parked miles away so I could have a brisk morning rush through Cobble Hill and Brooklyn Heights and spill orange juice all over the stroller.

You see, Bryan called yesterday and asked if I'd like to go to Hillary Clinton's birthday party tomorrow night at Tavern on the Green. Would I? Can you say 'Babysitter'? This is what is so great about living in New York City. His boss can't go, so here we are more than happy to fill two $1,000 seats.


So the shopping. I get there just as the store's opening and rush upstairs to see what I can figure out in under an hour, I'm looking for business attire, and there's this woman there who looked even more frazzled than I usually do, and I overhear her say to the sales woman, "My daughter is graduating from law school. She's 23. It's in California," maybe three times. She almost runs the stroller over getting to the sale rack. Then she sees Stella and says, "Oh a baby. My baby's twenty-three. She's graduating from law school. It's in California."

And later, when I'm in full panic mode because I look like a schmuck in everything I try on, and Stella's awake and in my arms, she comes up to me and says, "Do these pants look okay? My daughter's graduating from law school." I told her the pants looked too big, too baggy in the belly. "Really? What about the color? Do you think this color is okay? Because it's in California."

I told her to wear what feels comfortable. "But the weight! The weather might be warmer. It's in California. I don't want to wear black!" I wanted to ask her if she had Tourette's. Shake her. Hit her. Give her the baby to hold so I could get some shopping done. I had to turn away. I didn't have time to give a poop about her graduation outfit. My parking meter was running out and I still hadn't found my business attire for Hills.

I thought, if I ever wind up like that, come and get me and take me away. But still, I knew she'd be the subject of this blog. So thank you crazy lady! and mazel tov on your daughter's graduation from law school. In California. She's twenty-three.