Just a quick note to let you know that our building's superintendent has yet again assembled and lit our fake (!) Christmas tree in the courtyard, replete with musical lights that sound like a dying alien. WHY must our tree make sounds? Can we not brim with joy and wonder from purely visual beauty? I've been sleeping with a pillow over my head for days. I could and should and probably will complain, going the proper route of leaving a (well-written!) note in the suggestion box, but I will also steal into the night with cotton wadding and duct tape. Now where did I put that black ski mask?