log

Hamish was not arrested. The photograph above was taken for his passport at the UPS store and then promptly rejected by the passport office. But if my four-year old son were arrested, I'll bet his mugshot would look a lot like that. Stay out of trouble, boy. It isn't pretty.

And now, a poem for you—

Just as I lie down with my book and sigh
The best moment of my day is shattered
When your baby sister cries

My nerves are suddenly frayed and tattered

 I hoist myself from where I lie
And ask for the ten thousandth time
Why is your sister crying?

I don’t know, you start. Then—
Her was pushing me in my back
Her knocked down my building stack
Her took my favorite invention book
Her gave me a really mean look

But she’s the one who’s crying
I’m trying to explain
But you can’t understand
It's not yet coded in your brain

Even though you hit her

It's you who complains

I think I'll take to my room

Go Victorian on your ass
My hand stretched across my face 

Striking that ‘woe is me’ pose

But what good is it
When this is the life I chose

No one but no one
Thinks it’ll ever be like this

Don’t get me wrong
I mean, I LOVE MY KIDS
But I can’t even take a shit
Without you clawing at the door

Because you need your littlest lincoln log
And she lost her skate
So the log in my colon
Will just have to wait
(and wait, and wait)

Yes the log in my colon
Will just have to wait