the jew who stole christmas

So Hanukah is done.

That's my dad below, helping himself to a little birch beer at the annual party my step-sister hosts.

That's my step-sister below (in plummy pink) acting like a grown-up and me under the table hanging with the kids.

Ever since I met Bryan I've coined myself the Jew who stole Christmas. Now that we have a house it means we have a tree and I've hijacked that too with my Jewish ornamentations. I live to steep the kids in a hot mulled broth of holiday confusion.

But seriously, doesn't it seem like the future of civilization could benefit from a melding of religious symbols, rituals and beliefs? Isn't the core of all religions the same anyway? Do unto others and so forth? Play nice? Eat food together?

So there's my spine, below. I finally went to get my back X-rayed, to see what all the pain is about, the lower back pain I've been heroically enduring since Stella plopped out three and half years ago. The chiropractic treatments were becoming a pain in the neck, literally and figuratively. That cracking business does not have me convinced. And laying face-down on the adjustment table while my drum-playing Chiro told me yet again that he really wanted to "come over sometime and jam with Bryan" was about as relaxing as the kids nagging me for snacks while I'm in the shower. 

                                               

If you look at the X-ray closely enough you can see my IUD. Yes folks. This womb is closed for business. Can you see the osteoarthritis? Neither can I. But I tried. I mean, who doesn't love to diagnose themselves silly on the internet? My doc says I probably have arthritis given that my bone density scan showed I have osteopenia in my left hip and lumbar region, which is a precursor to osteoporosis and more importantly makes me feel old.

It's a good thing Amelia’s Plum turned me onto Erran Baron Cohen, who rocks the house with his badass Hanukah grooves and gets me shimmying all over the house irritating the children. Shimmying doesn't hurt my back so much.